How Motherhood Changed Me

What I Thought I Knew About Motherhood—And What I Learned

The hardest job I ever signed up for was motherhood. While some mothers step into the role unexpectedly, I chose it willingly. I thought I was prepared. I had experience. I was educated—or so I believed. When I had my first child, I had spent over four years as an attachment-based mentor and parent coach. Surely, I was ready.

Wrong.

Things No One Told Me About Parenting

Sleepless Nights Are Inevitable

You don’t sleep when you become a mother. Not because you don’t want to, but because this tiny human depends on you. Your schedule shifts, and sometimes your nights and days blur together—especially in those early months.

Your Body Needs Time to Heal

Healing from childbirth takes longer than we’re led to believe. While the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) provides up to 12 weeks of leave (for those who qualify), that timeframe barely scratches the surface. Someone once told me: It took nine months to grow this baby; it’s unrealistic to expect my body to recover in just three.

Just When You Think You’ve Got It Figured Out—Everything Changes

Growth spurts. Changing peer groups. New likes and dislikes. Just when you start to settle into a routine, your child grows, and you have to adapt all over again.

Parenting Never Ends

Unlike other jobs, this one doesn’t come with retirement. Once you’re a parent, you’re always a parent. My life will never be the way it was before having children, and that’s something I’ve had to accept.

Trauma Can Show Up in Parenting

Our past experiences, beliefs, and fears sometimes creep into our parenting journey. There are moments when I see my own childhood experiences reflected through my children's eyes, which can bring up unresolved emotions. I have processed many childhood memories with EMDR to help separate my past from my present parenting experience. In those times, I remind myself: I am not my parents, and my kids are not living my childhood.

Mom Guilt is Real

It started early with my first child, and even now, I still feel it at times. But I’ve learned something important: feelings are not facts.

It’s Hard—Really Hard

Before having children, I worked as a parent coach. Back then, I could support families and go home at the end of the day. Now, parenting is a 24/7 responsibility, and the weight of shaping my children into healthy, thriving humans is a daunting task.

Take Care of Yourself

Ask for help—especially in the newborn stage. Let go of what you can. Does the floor really need mopping this week? Can vacuuming wait? Do the kids need a bath every night? Finding balance is key.

Check Yourself

If your past creeps in (and it likely will), pause and reflect. Can you talk it through with a friend? Or do you need the support of a professional? Sometimes, EMDR therapy can help release past trauma that unknowingly impacts parenting.

Find Something That’s Just for You

Mothers give so much of themselves to their families. It’s crucial to have something that’s yours—a hobby, a book, a show, or simply time for yourself.

Seek Professional Help When Needed

If you're struggling with the emotional weight of parenting, know that you're not alone. Seeking therapy can provide essential tools to navigate anxiety, frustration, or past trauma that may be influencing your parenting. EMDR therapy can be a powerful way to process unresolved childhood experiences, helping you become more present and attuned to your child’s needs.

If you’d like to learn more about how EMDR therapy may help you on your parenting journey, reach out today. Let’s work together to break cycles, heal wounds, and build stronger connections with our children.
Therapy can help you work through anxiety, frustration, or past trauma affecting your parenting journey. It can also provide tools to strengthen attachment and connection not just with your children, but with other important relationships in your life as well.

Motherhood is messy, beautiful, exhausting, and fulfilling all at once. And while I may not have been as prepared as I thought, I’m learning every day that I’m the best mom they’ll ever know.